If you find yourself in a group of people where you only talk about your problems, try this— attempt to guide the focus towards creating solutions. If that group won't bite they are happy in their problems. Find a group of people where you talk about nothing but solutions, and watch your problems fade away.
3.31.20
There's a few things I've realized about human tendency, it's easier for us to talk about what is already occurring than what it is we could do to change that same situation. Focusing on what went wrong, why it upset us and drilling down into these details is where we often find ourselves.
Why?
How is it that we've become so accustomed to giving our attention to the things that make us tick instead of finding the perspectives in the situation that make the glass half-full. I challenge myself every day to find those perspectives that let me see the world through beauty, despite the pain. I like to focus on what I can do about the situation as opposed to worrying about the parts that have already happened.
I've been working on my inner dialogue for so long that it tends to go something like, "so they did you wrong - that sucks. But are we going to focus on what they did wrong, or are we going to figure out how to position ourselves so that it doesn't happen again?" Then I'm annoyed - trust me, the optimism I uphold gets on my own nerves.
Following that recurrent revelation I usually spend a bit more time trying to wallow in the they did me wrong bit, but that always leaves me exhausted because I've given all my energy and attention to a situation without looking for ways to change it. But after I can recognize that I naturally flow to my next steps. Whether that's boundaries, conversation, meditation, or a block button - you have to do what works for you.
It gets easier trust me, eventually you'll get sick of yourself trying to focus on the "wrong" and you'll just want the solution.
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