Boundaries are healthy for us, and those around us. Now, I didn't say comfortable, easy or a one-and-done kind of deal- I said healthy. At the end of the day we are in charge of who we let into our spaces, physical, mental, digital, and spiritual.
We get to choose who to invite inside, and decide what we spend our time thinking about. In our virtual and digital spaces, we can design what we like, create what we want, who we allow in, and what we share. Spiritually we can decide who to let in, who we attach to, and who we share ourselves with. We have power over these choices, and sometimes we forget or give our power away - but we can reclaim these choices and stand firmly in what we've created. We are the authors of our own stories, experiences, and lives.
Of course boundaries can be crossed, tested and shattered if those on the other side of you have those intentions - consciously or unconsciously. But in these instances we are given the opportunity to decide how to protect and enforce the sanctity of our spaces. Will we allow others to use us, will we go back on what we promised ourselves, or will we take action and create more space where it is needed?
In the case of digital spaces we can decide what we share, or how we use the tools that are at our disposal - and we use them to our own discretion. Your socials can build you up or tear you down - and you get to decide. You can control your algorithms by exploring what you want to see more of instead of digging into the things that stress you out. You can look for pages that bring positivity or people that bring those same feelings, things that give us a sense of joy, wonder, appreciation. Or we can look into the things that make us feel less than, those places where we find ourselves comparing, resenting, spying, creating dissonance, contempt or even confusion - but where you decide to look is up to you.
You have the freedom to create from a space where you feel safe - and you have the right to design a safe space for yourself. This is the beauty of turning off notifications, taking a break, going private, or removing people out of your life, or off of your lists. You have control over who you let into your space. If your boundaries continue to be crossed in a digital space - you have the freedom to decide and design what you share with the world.
We all know ghost accounts are out in masses, the past seeming to lurk in the shadows. We can block all we want, but if people want to find you they will try. And to that I say this - leave behind only things you are ok with the world seeing. If they are going to watch - let them. Your peace and sanity cant be determined by who is watching you. When you've done all you can, just give them a good show, not your peace of mind. You get to choose whether you focus on the shadows, or the light.
Explore this topic further in the Social Media Detox: A Series of Digital Realizations
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